yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
