How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
