ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
