if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
