Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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