I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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