I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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