Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
