I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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