If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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