i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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