dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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