I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
