Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize