Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
