if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
