I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
