no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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