i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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