capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
