My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
