Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.