I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies