his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she looked like the before picture.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.