god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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