Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
