addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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