Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
