S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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