Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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