the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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