i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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