he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
