Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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