Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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