i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
