Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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