just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if only i could text you this smell
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
