When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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