You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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