Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
