Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
