i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
false alarm, still single
Randomize
