This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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