I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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