can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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