Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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