just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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