I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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