I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She bit a glass in half.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
