And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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