I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
