he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
As shirtless as possible
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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