My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
