Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
