i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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