Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
