omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
