Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
