that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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